happiness, the happiness bitchThe best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.  ~Mark Twain

Some days are happy days; other days happy takes a little more work. Or maybe it just takes more work to find and recognize the happy.

Guest blogger girlfriend KERYL PESCE shares great tips for recognizing happiness and find more happiness. What are your favorite tips and tricks for finding and sharing happiness?

So life’s a real Bitch (capital “B” intended) lately, you say. You’re doing your thing – keeping out of trouble (well, most of the time – a little might be fun), working hard, taking care of everyone around you – demanding boss, incompetent co-worker, whiney girlfriend, and even whinier boyfriend. Everyone else gets what they need except you. The only one who showers you with unconditional love, affection, attention, and adoration anymore is your dog. And even SHE has crap you have to clean up.

What’s the deal? Is life supposed to be an endless parade of draining days, people, and circumstances that suck the life out of you, leaving you and your hair limp and lifeless? I mean, what gives?

When is it YOUR turn to be happy???

Raise your hand if you wonder if happy is something elusive, maybe even overrated. And keep your hand in the air if happy feels so far out of reach, that you’ve resigned yourself to the sad fact that this mundane, unfulfilling, and stressful life is just “how life is”.

OK, put your hand down before your co-workers wonder if you’re having a grade-school-flashback “Pick me! I know the answer!” moment. How did I know you raised your hand, even if only in your mind? Because of two very powerful not-so-little secrets I know about living your happiest life. Two secrets, that could, before you finish reading this post, transform the way you see and experience happiness – FOR . . . E . . .VER! Yes, I’m being a bit dramatic, but only because how important this is for you to live your happiest life. I’ll share these secrets with you in a moment (only because I like you already for reading this), but before I do, I want you to consider a few glittering nuggets about happiness.girfriend keryl pesce

What one thing causes us to be healthier, suffer less illness and injury, live longer, our organs to function optimally, look younger, sexier, impact the lives of those around us positively, AND results in us making more money? You guessed it – being happy. When whoever or whatever created you, it was with happiness in mind. Yes, you and I were literally designed for happiness. Overrated? Hardly.

OK, ready for your secrets?

Secret #1 – Life is not supposed to be challenge free, so quit expecting it to be.

The expectation that life will be challenge free sets you up for an epic fail when it comes to happiness. It’s like expecting your butt to look like Pippa Middleton’s when most of your time is spent sitting on it eating cheese fries. It just ain’t gonna happen. Now, I’m not here to slather you in gloom and doom, quite the opposite actually. If I can get you to make this one minor but pivotal change in how you view challenges in life, you’re halfway to happy.

Take a mental inventory of the adults closest to you. Have any of them been immune to at least one event in their lives causing them to ask “Why me? What have I done to deserve this?” No. The truth is every single one of us at some point, will be in a position begging for answers to these questions. Myself included.

If the proper questions were as I just mentioned, that would mean that every single adult walking the face of this planet is a bad person deserving of punishment. And that’s a bunch of crap. It’s simply not the case.

The sooner you train your pretty little brain to ask “What’s next? What good can come of this?” rather than “Why me?” the sooner you will get yourself to happy. Manicured hands down, this is the most powerful change you can make, and guess how soon you can start doing this?

Secret #2 – The higher the priority you put on your happiness, the more of it you will experience.

How important do you make your own happiness? Do you even know what makes you happy? Often when I ask the last question, people have difficulty answering. Well, guess what? How can you achieve that which makes you happy, if you’ve lost sight of what will? It’s fine and dandy to say all you want is to be happy, but that’s like saying you want to make your favorite meal tonight without knowing whether it’s shrimp Fra Diavolo or chicken parm.

The first and most important factor in getting anything you want in life is deciding and knowing what you really want. Yes, it’s basic, but I’m telling you, most people miss this step.

Ask yourself these questions: When am I happiest? What makes me feel most fulfilled? Confident? Once you have your answers, quit waiting for other people, your luck, or your circumstances to change and do what you need to do to experience more of what makes you happy! Lose the excuses. Lose the “If only’s.”

Life only changes when you do. Starting right now, move your happiness a few notches up on the priority pole. If you don’t, nobody else will. It’s up to you.

KERYL PESCE, using a painful divorce as a launching pad to build her brand, is a happiness expert and author of Happy Bitch. She is co-founder of Happy Bitch wine, founder of Happy Bitch clothing, and co-host of Happy Hour, a live FM talk show designed to entertain and dish straight-up advice on living happier.  Keryl has contributed to and/or been featured in Redbook.com, Huffington Post, Glamour.com, and The Nest.  Follow Keryl on Twitter @TheHappyBitch.

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