Advice-for-moms-and-girlfriendsA babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. ~ Unknown

For some of us, planning a night out requires one text and a change of shoes. For others of us, a night out requires more planning than a business takeover. This has as much to do with the number of people we’re meeting and our basic personalities as it does with who we’re leaving at home.

Guest blogger KATIA BISHOPS reminds us that new moms have to plan for babysitters (and possibly hormone fluctuations) when planning a night out. But new moms need their girlfriends. So plan a night out with your girlfriends–but follow these tips in the planning. And enjoy!

A mommy friend recently called me and told me about a date she had gone on with her husband and non-parent friends. They were dying to see each other, but it felt like at every single point from the planning to the execution the date kept taking the wrong turns. I know “planning and execution” sounds a little bit like a G-20 summit instead of a casual Friday night get together, but that’s just it—once you’ve had kids, spontaneity is pretty much gone out the window.

It wasn’t too long ago that I was able to go on dates with girlfriends on short notice and secretly wonder why it is that I can never have a phone conversation with my mommy friend without vicariously talking to her toddler. Two boys later I get it. Here are some instructions to help us understand our mommy friends better.

girlfriend-advice-for-mommyIt’s not that we mommies are trying to be difficult on purpose, honestly. It’s just that:

  • When planning a night out with your new parent friends don’t reschedule multiple times. Remember, we don’t want to piss off the baby sitter. She’s our lifeline to freedom.
  • Don’t take us to the trendiest new place. Seriously, please. We know you mean well, but the experience will be wasted on us. The only criteria that went into selecting what we’re wearing tonight are the item’s location in the pile, accessibility, and relative cleanliness.
  • With 1 and 2 in mind, let’s not go anywhere that requires a waiting list.
  • You know 9 p.m., right? Did you also know that it’s a relative term? Your 9 p.m. is not our 9 p.m. When we leave home we’re on a countdown schedule to the first time we’ll have to wake up for a night feeding. Our 9 p.m. = bed by 12:30 a.m. = an hour to two until we have to wake up for feeding and a total of five purchasing valium online hours of sleep, if we’re lucky. See you at 7:45 p.m. then?
  • The fact that we got out of the house is a miracle. The fact that we get to see you – a blessing. We want to maximize our time together. Let’s not go to that place that’s: a. trendy b. far c. has a “what are you doing in a hipster bar?” sticker on its bathroom door.
  • I’m sorry, I know we used to do this all the time, but nowadays we don’t speak “Pre-Drinks.” Our schedule revolves around one and only “pre” – the night feeding pre our imminent 5 a.m. wake up.
  • If we did grab a pre-drink that too would totally be wasted (HAHA, get it?) on us. We’re already wasted on a very powerful new substance called No Sleep. Wait till you try it.

See you next Friday? Oh, wait, I have to check with the sitter first.

How do you feel about your friendship with a new mommy girlfriend?

KATIA BISHOPS is a mother of two boys, 3-year-old and 7-month-old. She writes about them and about her husband, 36-year-old. Currently on maternity leave, she’s fulfilling a lifelong dream of writing and making people laugh. And sometimes cry, which was not her dream nor intention. She’s published on: Scary Mommy, AOL Parentdish, Mamapedia, Life Well Blogged. Katia also writes about immigration, fertility, miscarriage. Find her at: and Twitter @KatiaDBE.

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