Girlfriends teach us lessons through every phase and situation in our life.
When we’re young we learn to mimic our BFFs and share their tastes, style and habits (sometimes good or bad!). As we grow and mature, we often learn more about relationships and responsibilities than from our parents. And, throughout life – careers to kids, relationships to realities, we continue to learn and share among the women we trust to be a best friends.
Duong Sheahan, an amazing and beautiful inside and out girlfriend, is going to be the guest on this week’s BlogTalkRadio show (11am PST/2pm EST on Friday). To get to know her and to pique your interest in listening on this ‘fun, friend-filled Friday,’ here is her latest blog on a very important friendship topic – forgiveness.
Unforgiveness is a Deadly Virus, by Duong Sheahan
Have you ever received an email from friends, family, or colleagues with a subject title similar to: “Warning: Virus-Do not open!” I remember when I first started using email, it seemed like I was getting one of these virus warnings often.
Since I was so new to the tech world, I was so afraid I would accidentally open something that would wreck our computer. The email went on to tell about a computer virus that could potentially destroy your computer if you opened the attached.
As you know a human virus spreads rapidly from one person to another and some are known to be deadly. A computer virus that travels from one computer to the next has the potential to cause major destruction. Once a virus is registered on a computer, it automatically picks up certain codes that literally goes through your files and destroys all of your personal data. Other times a virus can actually sit on your computer long before it releases itself.
I am not a computer wizard and unfortunately, I have contracted viruses on my own computer causing severe consequences. What does a computer virus have anything to do with my subject on “unforgiveness”?
I believe that unforgiveness can be a deadly virus in our lives if we leave it untreated. Many health experts refer to it as “deadly emotions.” Researchers even agree that unforgiveness is linked to a variety of health issues. There have been studies conducted to measure heart rates, sweat rates, and other responses of volunteers who were asked to remember the wrongs that they have experienced.
The study was performed at Hope College where the individual’s blood pressure and heart rates increased, and muscle tension was shown to be higher. This demonstrates that stress levels are higher when an individual is walking in unforgiveness as oppose to forgiveness. Stress leads to a host of other illnesses that lands people in hospitals. Dr. Don Colbert, M.D. says, “One of the secret causes of stress plaguing millions of people is unforgiveness.”
The human brain is like a computer; it is a memory bank and, whether it is short term or long term, it releases biochemical stress responses when you meditate and rehearse all the offenses that have been committed towards you. I have heard it said that the individual that is living in unforgiveness is the one drinking the deadly poison, but instead wishing the other person would die.
We have all been hurt and devastated by someone close to us, but we have the option to not allow the hurt to get rooted in bitterness, which then causes stress and stress causes a variety of sickness and disease to harvest in our lives. Some offenses may seem minor which makes forgiveness easy; however, the true test is when it is difficult to forgive but we choose to forgive anyway.
In order to prevent the dangerous viruses from infecting our computers and causing permanent damage; companies have created an Anti-virus software, an option that is now available and protects our computers from contracting these harmful viruses.
Like the anti-virus software, forgiveness is the only antidote to unforgiveness for our own well-being! The longer you live in this cycle, the more damage the virus will cause.
Who hasn’t been faced with unforgiveness? I know I have several times and what has really set me free is ‘choosing’ to forgive and let go and that is the hardest part.
Don’t drink the deadly poison! Forgiveness is powerful weapon against negative health affects. We can choose to experience total freedom, health, and healing in from the inside out and that is just one of the keys to living healthier and happier!
So, what about you, girlfriend? Do you have a friend you’ve struggled with forgiving? Do you know yourself well enough to identify those ‘girlfriend lessons’ that you need to learn. I know this is a good reminder for me as well. We all need to give our girlfriends grace and to help us and them live healthier and happier.
Thanks Duong for that great girlfriend lesson! I can’t wait to interview you on Friday on BlogTalkRadio.com/Girlfriendology (11am PST / 2pm EST)!