Be a Better Friend to a Girlfriend who has lost a Parent

Be a Better Friend to a Girlfriend who has lost a Parent

Be a better friend to a girlfriend who has lost a parentFor many of us, it’s already happened. We’ve experienced the loss of a parent and/or have girlfriends who have.

Sad situations sometimes make it tough to be a better friend.

How can we be a better friend when a friend’s parent passes away? First, keep in mind that It’s especially tough on our friend because, generally, she’s known her parent all her life. She’s never experienced life without that person in it – that’s a unique experience and a milestone in her life. Sometimes that puts her as the oldest generation – which, again, adds pressure and sadness that may be difficult to handle.

Being there for a friend during a tough time is just part of being a friend. But sometimes it’s not easy to know how to handle the situation – what to say/not say, things you can do, ways you can be a better friend. Girlfriendology is here to help and to request your input on how you’ve helped your friends deal with the loss of their parents or how they’ve helped you when your parent(s) died.

Personally, when my father passed away, it was my girlfriends (and my dear husband) who were there for me. My friends called, sent cards and spent time with me to make sure I was doing okay. Deana sent a beautiful ivy planter (which surprisingly is still alive!). Whether they knew my father personally or not, they made sure they honored his memory in beautiful ways and sentiments. I will never forget that my friend Rhonda and her husband drove over several hours to come to his memorial. They didn’t know him personally, but they were there for me. That is why I will always try to be there, at a funeral of my friends’ parents, if at all possible. I appreciated knowing that Rhonda carried about me that much that she would take a time to be in the same room with me when I said good-bye to my sweet dad.

Everyone is different and has/had a different relationship with their father or mother, but here are a few ideas to hopefully help you and your girlfriend deal with the sadness of losing a parent:

  • LISTEN – Listening is probably the most common answer to all questions on friendship and relationships. Women are different than me – we just want someone to listen, not necessarily solve our problem. Calling just to check in, asking if you can take her to dinner or go on a walk together – find opportunities to talk and primarily listen. Also, grieving friends may need extra time/attention as they deal with their loss. Understand that they may just need to process their loss, relationship and feelings. Give them grace and some extra time and attention. Be accessible and let her know that she can call whenever she needs to – if you mean it! (But also accept that she might not want to talk for a while – but you’re there for her when she does.
  • SHOW YOU CARE – As I mentioned above, I remember (and still have) the plant that my friend Deana gave me when my dad passed away. I look at it and remember my dad but most of all my thoughtful girlfriend. Cards, calls, messages and fun memories are all helpful and show that you’re keeping her in your thoughts. Be low maintenance and understand that she might be busy with family, etc. but also, be attentive. Check in with her periodically to see if there is anything you can do. Offer to take her to/or bring dinner so you can talk about how she’s doing. Donate to the non-profit that they’ve selected for memorials.
  • SPEND TIME WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND – If she’s ready for it, invite your girlfriends over to talk, hug, cry and possibly eat/drink together. There’s a lot of ‘girlfriend therapy’ in being around the people who love you and want you to be happy.
  • SAY THE RIGHT THING – Be very sensitive to what is going on but don’t let that hold you back from talking. Acknowledge that life isn’t fair and that you’re truly sorry. Especially if it is a tough situation, acknowledge that and be supportive.
  • DON’T JUST ASK, DO IT! – Often, in the midst of stress, sadness and somewhat of a crisis, we try to help by offering to assist them in whatever they want. But, what do we do when they don’t ask? We might need to step forward and just ‘do it’! Take over dinner. Mow their lawn or shovel their sidewalk. Take their dog to the dog park when you take yours. Pick up groceries for her. Just do it!
  • DO SOMETHING SPECIAL – Create a little memorial for her. Perhaps sneak some photos out of her home and make a scrapbook with loving sayings in it. Help her create a memorial – plant a tree, create and give her a stepping stone for her garden or create/purchase a special frame for her to feature her photo(s) of them together.
  • HELP HER – She may be in charge of the funeral and lots of details. Help her organize all the timing/details. Offer to pick up relatives from the airport, bring over dinner, take care of her pets while she is busy taking care of the arrangements.
  • Girlfriend (and girlfriendship expert!) IRENE LEVINE shared: “The most important thing is to be there. Don’t tell her that you know how she feels. Everyone experiences death in different ways. Listen, comfort, and offer practical help (with chores, with kids, with food). I was touched when my friends organized a shivah after my Dad died.”
  • MARIE shared (on our Facebook page): “My step-mother (who has no daughters of her own) lost her mother and father 3 weeks apart last fall. I’ve invited her to do the girlfriend/mother/daughter thing on Sunday-mother’s day-we’re heading to the Ottawa Farmer’s market then window shopping and tea then mother’s day dinner with my father, husband, and son.” (JANIE commented to Marie: “Marie, that is a wonderful thing to do with your Step Mom. We also like to feel loved and cared for, too! We do sometimes more than “real” Mom does!”)
  • MARGYE shared (on Facebook): “My estranged father died in October. My favorite girlfriends, my three sisters, and I found out the day after his funeral that he had passed. It was devastating for us. We decided the best way for us to grieve was to drive to his grave site and have our own memorial service. We texted, blogged, & called our girlfriends during and after the journey and while we were with our favorite girlfriends we were all grateful to have a strong and far-reaching group of loving women to help us heal. The allowed us to cry, be angry, be hurt and remember our Dad. I guess the best help is for them not to get bored when we mention him or remind them for the thousandth time that we didn’t get to say goodbye. Allowing one to grieve is top of the list.”
  • BRENDA shared (on Facebook): “When my dad died, I had a friend who did something that helped more than anything. She helped take care of practical little details that seemed to overwhelm me, and she did it in her quiet, no-nonsense way. Most of all she never asked me if I was okay because she knew that’s all it would take to break the dam that I was trying very hard to hold together.”
  • GRETCHEN shared (on Facebook): “One of my closest friends and God Mother to my children quietly cared for my children at the funeral when my dad died. At 7 and 3 yrs they were ill at ease being with the openly grieving adults. So she took them to the playground at the church and let them buy clonazepam online pharmacy play, snuggle as needed and ask her their questions. I was relieved I was spared difficult questions and able to focus on my own loss that day. Weeks later we met for coffee and she shared my children’s experience that day with me to help me care for them and understand their sense of loss too. I was shielded from death as a child. She knew it was important to me that my children be allowed choices to be apart of things (funeral and reception) and given permission to talk about death & dying and ask questions without feeling inhibited. Caring for my children was a gift beyond compare, knowing me and my heart. It was special she was there to just do things without needing to talk about it in advance”
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How can we be a better friend to girlfriends who have lost a parent? …

… (or spouse, or child, or friend) what is your girlfriend advice to helping your friend who is dealing with the death of a parent?

More girlfriend advice on how to be a better friend:

Here are more ways to be a supportive friend to girlfriends going through tough situations:

That’s why we’re here – to inspire you to BE A BETTER FRIEND – even, and especially, when life hands you or a girlfriend tough situations.

COMFORTING GIFTS FOR FRIENDS: HEALING BASKETS provides gifts to comfort and support the broken hearted. From sympathy, and loss to cancer, get well, divorce and caregiving. These gifts encourage, comfort and inspire.

What other tough situations would you like us to cover on Girlfriendology? PLEASE SHARE below!

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Friendship Quote: Friendship is …

Friendship Quote: Friendship is …

Friendship is the act of supporting someone, friendship quote for womenToday’s Friendship Quote for Women:

Friendship is the act of supporting someone without condition or without thought for gain.

Kathy Ireland

 

I love the chick flickLove Actually‘ and this quote from it: “But for now, let me say – Without hope or agenda – Just because it’s Christmas – And at Christmas you tell the truth – To me, you are perfect.”

That quote and today’s friendship quote both remind us, true friends aren’t there for us with some agenda. True Friends love us without thought for gain and unconditionally.

TODAY – Stop and think about your TRUE FRIENDS. Who are there for you without thought of gain.

Tell her TODAY how grateful you are for her friendship. Make plans together. Make moments count – with the amazing girlfriends who support you unconditionally!

FOR MORE GIRLFRIEND INSPIRATION ON SUPPORTIVE GIRLFRIENDS:

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Girlfriend gift anchor charm braceletToday’s Favorite Girlfriend Gift:  Who’s your ‘anchor?’ Who is there to steady you when life is rough? Tell her THANKS with this beautiful Silver Anchor Charm Bracelet

 

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150 Friendship Quotes for Women

A Free Resource Library of Great Girlfriend Advice?!

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Girlfriend Advice for Tough Situations | How to be A Better Friend

Girlfriend Advice for Tough Situations | How to be A Better Friend

How to be there for a Friend going through a Tough SituationThere are lots of situations that we women face that are tough. That’s life, right? Thankfully we have our friends to help us through tough situations – like losing a parent or the loss of a child, dealing with cancer, the death of a beloved pet, and more.

It’s true: “Walking with a FRIEND in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” – Helen Keller

YES. Helen Keller. The woman who knew what it meant to walk in the dark and be completely alone. She knew the value of a friend, especially in the dark.

Over the ten+ years of Girlfriendology, we’ve shared girlfriend advice for tough situations like these. Our commitment is to inspire women to be better friends – and to be there in the good and not-so-good times.

It’s not always easy when friends go through difficult times. We get that. But, as a friend, they NEED you to be supportive, kind, caring, and attentive. Here’s some girlfriend advice on many of the challenges in life that we and our friends deal with.

 

That’s why we’re here – to inspire you to BE A BETTER FRIEND – even, and especially, when life hands you or a girlfriend tough situations.

COMFORTING GIFTS FOR FRIENDS: HEALING BASKETS provides gifts to comfort and support the broken hearted. From sympathy, and loss to cancer, get well, divorce and caregiving. These gifts encourage, comfort and inspire.

What other tough situations would you like us to cover on Girlfriendology? PLEASE SHARE below!

A Free Resource Library of Great Girlfriend Advice?!

  • Celebration Ideas & checklists
  • Friendly Financial Advice
  • Tempting Travel tips
  • FREE eBooks
  • Coloring book pages
  • Quotes to share with Friends 
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<——- What’s NEW in the Free Resource Library?

  • 150 Friendship Quotes
  • 3 FREE eBooks – including Resumes & Cover Letters
  • 2 Inspirational Quote Coloring Book Pages
  • JUST ADDED: Tips to make Grocery Shopping Easier
  • Girlfriend Trip Beach Recommendations
  • Money-saving Tips & Sites
  • & more!! 
15 Summer Cocktails for Girlfriend Get-togethers!

15 Summer Cocktails for Girlfriend Get-togethers!

15 summer cocktails for girlfriend partiesHappy Summer Girlfriend! Invite your BFFs over for a Girlfriend Party with these refreshing Summer Cocktails!

It’s HOT. Really HOT. Invite your girlfriends over for a cool summer cocktail sure to take the heat and make it a relaxing, fun night with friends! Here’s our favorite ways to celebrate Summer and Girlfriends with 15 Summer Cocktails sure to make your home THE place for girlfriend get-togethers!

So, call up the girls (or do a Facebook event/invite, or group text the gang) and invite them over for one (or more) of these summer cocktails. Invite them to bring an appetizer or dessert, or provide them yourself. Set up chairs on the deck, porch or poolside (even if it is a temporary pool!) and get ready to have FUN with your girlfriends and these summer cocktails!

15 Summer Cocktails for a Girlfriend Party!

Frozen Blended Peach Bellini – Can’t wait to try these! Peaches are already showing up on sale in the store. Grab some and mix these up for your friends!

Red, White & Blue Mocktail – Invite all your girlfriends, even if they don’t drink. This mocktail will be the hit of the party!

Berry Cucumber Vodka Mojito – Like that fancy water in hotel lobbies, make your own berry and cucumber inflused drink!

Cranberry Pear Prosecco Cocktail – You had me at Prosecco! Love that sparkling drink and I’m sure you’ll love this sparkling summer cocktail!

Sparkling Watermelon Cocktail – I love how refreshing cold watermelon is on a hot day! Invite the girls over for these sparkling cocktails!

Blueberry-Mojito-RURum Orange Creme Soda – Did you love Orange Dreamsicles growing up? Then you’ll especially love this super summer cocktail!

Pineapple Coconut Cocktail – is the new Pina Colada, and this one looks especially yummy! Serve some Caribbean treats with it!

Blueberry Mojito – Load up on your antioxidants with these blueberries! (So, it’s GOOD for you!) >>> Shown here 🙂

Frozen Rose’ Grapefruit Cocktail – Even just reading the recipe is refreshing! Love this summer cocktail – so will your girlfriends!

Stoli Lemonade – Set up a lemonade stand for your girlfriends with this adult version of the summer classic refreshment!

Summer Breezes Cherry Cocktail – WOW! This combines one of my favorite fruits with an umbrella. What could be better?!

Boozy Blueberry Lemonade – This was created by my friend Nate and his wife. It looks DELICIOUS! Check out their cool video of it below!

Watermelon Margaritas – YUM! Love this recipe and that it offers ingredients by the glass or pitcher!

Lemon Drop Cocktails – There’s even a gluten-free version – Great for all your girlfriends!

Rhubarb MargaritasWOW! Who knew you could make these from rhubarb?! Nice to know since I have some growing in my garden! Do you??

 

More Summer Cocktail Resources:

Boozy Blueberry Lemonade by Wannabite.com!

Here’s some more Summer Inspiration for Women!

A Free Resource Library of Great Girlfriend Advice?!

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The Wit & Wisdom of Women over Forty | Andy Rooney

The Wit & Wisdom of Women over Forty | Andy Rooney

Wine isn’t the only thing that gets better with age. Andy Rooney was attributed with the following. (While we don’t know exactly who wrote it, we think the sentiment is awesome!)

the wit and wisdom of women over fortyAndy passed away in 2011 (and said this: “I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.”) – we’re glad he shared this insight into the wonderful women of forty-plus!

ANDY ROONEY said:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.

A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, buy phentermine united kingdom it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.”

What can you add that women know/do better than others?

For the record, we LOVE girlfriends plus or minus 40 years of age – ALL women are welcome here and are appreciated for the insights and inspiration you offer. But, we just thought this little bit of female appreciation was a great way to look at all the wonderful ways we women age and impact other lives.

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Here’s more girlfriend wit and wisdom for women!

 

 

A Free Resource Library of Great Girlfriend Advice?!

  • Celebration Ideas & checklists
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  • Tempting Travel tips
  • FREE eBooks
  • Coloring book pages
  • Quotes to share with Friends 
Girlfriendology Girlfriend Gift Finder

^Girlfriend Gift Finder for:

  • Birthday Gifts for Women
  • Holiday Gifts – Christmas Gifts, Mother’s Day Gifts, Valentine’s Day Gifts
  • Cheer up Gifts, Sympathy Gifts, Just Because Gifts, Congrats, Housewarming, Hostess Gifts & More!

<——- What’s NEW in the Free Resource Library?

  • 150 Friendship Quotes
  • 3 FREE eBooks – including Resumes & Cover Letters
  • 2 Inspirational Quote Coloring Book Pages
  • JUST ADDED: Tips to make Grocery Shopping Easier
  • Girlfriend Trip Beach Recommendations
  • Money-saving Tips & Sites
  • & more!!