What do you and Taylor Swift have in common? Maybe just your BFF power status, according to the New York Times article on : Female BFFs — the New Power Couples.
It’s not just Taylor, but Beyonce, Lena Dunn, the Kardashians, and more (see below) – female friendship is ‘in’ (we never thought it wasn’t, to be honest!).
The New Republic recently reported on the Female Friendship Myth. The myth is that “when your job is falling far short of what you hoped and men are nothing but disappointment, your life is about your best girlfriends.”
How does this media popularity of female friendship impact our personal friendships? What role does Social Media play in our relationships and our display of our female friendships?
It’s true – we women need, love, benefit from our female friendships, so we understand how Taylor Swift and other celebrities are flaunting their friendships. Actually, when we’re with our girlfriends, we’re often our most beautiful – we’re happy, confident and smiling. That’s one reason these friendship photos are flooding social media. We love an ‘usie’ with our BFFs, right?
From the New York Times: Lately, we’ve been inundated with images of real-life best friends, triumphantly displayed. It’s difficult to get through a day on the Internet without looking at photos of women flaunting the depth of their intimacy by posing over dinner or watching television together in matching pajamas. We now flick through images not of celebrity couples but of celebrity friends: Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj eating hamburgers in matching varsity jackets; Taylor Swift with Karlie Kloss, Lorde, Selena Gomez, Ellie Goulding, Lena Dunham, her cat Olivia, the entire runway lineup of a Victoria’s Secret show; the U.S. women’s soccer team. The meme factories have responded to the popularity of pictures of best friends with maximum output, harvesting groups of women posing on beaches and in limos from celebrity Instagram feeds and presenting them in slide shows (see: “16 of Taylor Swift’s Best BFFs,” “Ranking Taylor Swift’s 25 Best Best Friends,” “Taylor Swift Has Best Friends to Spare!” and “Taylor Swift Has More Best Friends Than You Ever Will“) and labeling these images as “#friendspiration” and “#squadgoals.”
The New Republic: “… pins the blame on social media, writing that the technology of the last decade has increased the public performance of friendship. There’s certainly an element of this. Facebook, for example, can contribute to such concerns; it’s suddenly possible to feel excluded from an event that, pre-Facebook, one wouldn’t have cared was happening. But the fear of not having enough or close enough friends goes much deeper, and predates Taylor Swift performances or Instagram.”
Do you have your power BFFs? Do you take photos together and post them on social media?
That’s okay. We love that trend. We love seeing photos of women celebrating the relationship with their best friends – that makes women healthier, happier, less stressed, live longer and feel more beautiful.
We know this really isn’t a trend. It’s the foundation of friendship and we’re glad that the female friendship relationship is getting a lot of LIKES in social media.
And in closing, as they New York Times put it: “Close friendships are worth celebrating — but it is how they look at their least photogenic moments that proves their veracity.”[Tweet “The Female Friendship Myth: Female BFFs — The New Power Couples”]
Want to know how to have more friends? Be a Better Friend? You’re in the right place! Check out this girlfriend advice …
What?! Reviews & News for Girlfriends? After blogging on Girlfriendology about female friendship for nine years, I kinda think (a lot) about the relationship women have. We take care of each other, offer recommendations, try to make each others’ lives better. We share recipes and reviews, tips and tricks, chardonnay and cabernet … and most of all, we share life.
So … what is this week’s reviews & news, worthy of sharing with girlfriends? I’ll offer my findings, ideas, things I can honestly recommend to my girlfriends. Feel free to share yours in the comments. That’s what girlfriends do 🙂
The BIG Basketball Games – As I write this, the final game is CLOSE and exciting. What do I do? I text my BFF Julie to ask her who she’s cheering for. We’re not together, but it feels kinda like we are. Tomorrow night is the women’s final game. Why not support them too? Notre Dame or Connecticut? Share life and basketball with your girlfriends!
When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.
Last week I was very happy to attend the one-woman show about The God Box: Sharing My Mother’s Gift of Faith, Love and Letting Go, written by and starting Mary Lou Quinlan. (Thanks to my other BFF Cathy for inviting me!) It was a wonderful play about the book, sharing the lessons and wisdom from a mother. The event supported the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Conference. (I had the honor of speaking at this a few years ago – what a great event!) (And see what I did there, share a link for girlfriends who like to write! That’s what girlfriends do!) It was great advice for women on the important things in life. I’d highly recommend that book to all girlfriends!
It’s feeling like SPRING! I’m working on my Spring mantle and home decor – thanks to Pinterest! Here’s some great girlfriend advice on Spring …
The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.
What are your friendship goals for the coming year?
Why do you need friendship goals?
Okay, back to the basics: The benefits of female friendship are it makes women healthier, happier, less stressed, live longer and feel more beautiful. Really. Those are pretty impressive benefits for something that does cost a fortune or require a royal title. (And, with stress being the #1 element in most primary care visits, reducing our stress alone would make female friendship the ‘magic pill’ for women’s health!)
So, being a better friend means you get to reap the rewards of friendship with happy memories, a healthier life and fun friends to spend your time with. And, it’s also cool that the benefits are unlimited so you can spread the girlfriendship great karma to lots of friends so they’re healthier, happier, less stressed, etc. too!
Knowing that we have to set goals to accomplish them … we’re challenging our girlfriends and ourselves to make friendship resolutions for 2012. What goals can you set that will strengthen your friendships? What can you do this year to make more time for your friends, share fun times together and be more thoughtful?
We asked a few of our ‘expert girlfriends’ for their New Years Resolutions and they shared:
IRENE S. LEVINE, (shown above – see how beautiful friendship makes her?!) aka: The Friendship Doctor and author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend (visit her blog posts at: Huffington Post, Psychology Today, and Life Goes Strong) shared:
My friendship resolution is also a life resolution. I hope to become more mindful at spending my time on the people and things that are most meaningful to me.
SHASTA NELSON, CEO of the women’s friendship matching site GirlFriendCircles.com and author of ‘Friendships Don’t Just Happen! The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of Girlfriends‘, is writing her first book this year and pursuing funding for her company as ways of stepping more into her life work. You can follow her weekly friendship blog at Shasta’s Friendship Blog or on Twitter (@girlfrindcircles) (& another beautiful girlfriend!).
My friendship intention for the new year is to foster friendships with women who also want to play a bigger game in their life work in the new year. I don’t want to downplay my calling, stifle my ambition, or ever show up with apologies for simply living from a place of knowing. But I think we often limit ourselves because we lack the support or fear the insecurities of others? This year, I am starting a monthly group of business women where we commit our support and cheers. And with my current friends, I am committed to holding space to witness their growth, affirm what I see, validate their service in this world, and help give voice to their courage.
What are YOUR friendship goals for the new year? How can you make your friendships stronger, meet new friends, share lots of great memories together in the New Year?
Here’s some great girlfriend inspiration by Shasta and Irene:
- How to make yourself a ‘keeper’ Friend, by Irene Levine
- Getting over a Friendship Drought, by Irene Levine
- Mending a Broken Friendship, by Irene Levine
- Throw a Girlfriend Gratitude Party, by Shasta Nelson
- Frientimacy – the Intimacy of Female Friendship, by Shasta Nelson
- Breast Cancer and Friendship / Girlfriend Advice, by Shasta Nelson