Sometimes it can be so hard to maintain friendships when distances (and time zones) separate you. Sometimes it’s the easiest thing in the world.
Girlfriend Guru Jennifer Hall shares her tips for keeping a healthy long-distance friendship.
It is absolutely possible to maintain a fantastic friendship even when geography is in the way.
I am an expert on this. You see, I have successfully held down a great friendship with my high school BFF ever since we graduated 20 years ago this year.
In this day and age, with the wonderful world of the interwebs, there is really no excuse for not staying in touch with someone. Honestly. (Unless you just don’t want to.)
My BFF and I are old enough that we used to HAND WRITE each other cards and letters and USE THE TELEPHONE. Crazy, right?
In honor of her birthday this month, I thought I would share with you how we do it!
- Email each other nearly every day. Usually with subjects as simple as “Monday.”
- Connected via social networking. Facebook friends, Twitter tweeps, read and support each others’ blogs.
- Remember each others’ important dates. It is so extremely EASY to click around, find and order your friend gifts and have them shipped directly to her.
- Travel to be a part of each others’ important events. Maids of Honor and Godmother’s duties.
- Send each other pictures of your kids. Every time you have portraits or school pictures done, you set a couple aside for your BFF.
- Keep each other clued in on things going on in your life, from the major life events to the mundane work related angst. It’s all important to friends.
- Texting and phone calls.
Sure, it can be a huge disappointment not to have your friend close by to do things with, to swap babysitting or have a girl’s night in. But I am here to say that this doesn’t have to lessen the bond between you.
The most excellent quote on the matter:
“There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.” ~Diana Cortes
Truly. If you can maintain a connection with someone you cannot physically see very often, that has got to be one of the most special relationships you’ll ever have. It should be nurtured and treasured and honored.
But it takes effort, on both your parts. You both have to decide you want this friendship to be sustained. And then you follow through by doing some or all of the things listed above.
It’s like you decide to pretend that you’re NOT in fact separated by distance. Do all the same things you would with any friend, whether near or far. It’s merely a technicality that you have to run to the post office from time to time
Over the past 20 years, my long distance friendship has stood the test of time, growing deeper and more meaningful as the years pass. Anyone can have that. We define our relationships, not the circumstances we happen to be in.
JENNIFER HALL is a SAHM of a daughter and a son, married to a diabetic on dialysis. She enjoys knitting, scrapbooking, reading, and TV. She’s visually impaired and describes herself as anxious, traumatized, dorky, funny, real, and says her “life is a roller coaster and I’m blogging my way through it all!” As an only child, her Girlfriends are like sisters to her. She believes in learning, growing, living, loving, and laughing. She is grateful.
What are your tips for minimizing the distance that geography imposes? How do you keep up friendships when you don’t live near each other? Share your tips with us below.
Jennifer is one of our gorgeous, great Girlfriend Gurus – which means she shares her girlfriend insights and inspiration here on Girlfriendology every month. Want to join her and the dozens of other Girlfriend Gurus who we love to feature on Girlfriendology? (Visit Girlfriend Gurus.) Here’s another great blog post by Jennifer: Judge Not Girlfriends, Finding Mom Friends and Make time for YOU, Plan a GNO / Girl’s Night Out!
Other friendship girlfriend advice:
- Supporting girlfriends through unconventional decisions
- Are your social media girlfriends real friends?
- Girlfriend advice for Step-Moms
- It takes a village – women supporting women