Girlfriend shares her thoughts on Sex and the City 2!
It’s THE girlfriend movie right now – Sex and the City 2. But what do girlfriends think about it? We heard from one girlfriend, Ashley Bunk of 365 Inspirations on this review of Sex and the City. Our girlfriend, SHASTA NELSON, from GirlfriendCircles shared this review of SATC2:
Fantasy of SATC2: Not!
I’ve only watched the first season of Sex and the City, and that was on DVD in the name of research. I don’t own anything with a brand name label, unless you count Banana Republic. I have never spent more than $55 on a pair of shoes; and I didn’t do that without guilt. My pre-marriage sex life wouldn’t have even made a nun blush! All that to say, I’m not really what you’d call a typical fan of the show or someone who has much in common with the famous foursome!
So keep those details in mind when I write this blog. For surely, I’m more the kind of girl who you might expect to critique the new movie and call it nothing but “fantasy” as so many reviews are doing! Newspapers across the country are using words like fairytale, fluff, unrealistic & indulgent. I, on the other hand, will courageously take a stand and say that the new movie released yesterday got a lot about friendship right. It wasn’t all “pie-in-the-sky”– it hit closer to home than many are admitting.
Certainly I’ve never had a girlfriend get-away in a place that costs $22,000 a night or worn stilettos when sightseeing in a dessert, but those aside, this movie showcased friendship, both the good and the bad.
Here’s where I saw honesty in their friendships:
1. The cost between friends is not the same, but needs to be mutual. Charlotte hesitates to commit to a girls trip because of her responsibilities as a busy mom. But Samantha, who will say what others would only think pushes back “I have sat through more than my share of kids birthday parties for you– you’re coming on this trip.” We don’t all need the same things in our friendships, but we are called to ensure that we’re giving in ways that matter to the other, even when it takes us outside our own life.
2. Even with people we trust, our default is to try to add gloss to our lives. Carrie was uncomfortable and hurt by Mr. Big’s request to take two days off every week from each other. But when faced with her friends, she defended the idea as though it were her own. Charlotte, was dying under the exhaustion of her two-year-old daughter’s relentless fussing, but with a forced smile she kept trying to convince everyone, herself especially, that motherhood was nothing but joy. I thought these story lines were genius. It shows the truth of friendship. Even women who have seen the worst of each other, can fall into the trap of not being honest because they want to look good. Their ability to drop their masks is the soil with which their friendships deepen and their own ability to accept themselves is strengthened.
3. How we respond to others says more about ourselves. Samantha sees Charlotte’s nanny looking young, bouncy and bra-less. Her own insecurities and jealousy causes her to speak out in such a way that triggers Charlotte’s fears about whether she can trust her husband with the nanny. The cycle continues when Charlotte’s recent obsession lashes out at Carrie, on her way to a date. Even with the women we love and support, it’s nearly impossible to engage without our own story getting in the way. Being able to see it between us is important.
4. Friends can be our opposite and still hold wisdom for us. I’ve said it before and it bears repeating: some of the most meaningful friendships blossom from women who are nothing like us. These four women couldn’t be more different in so many ways. It doesn’t happen without some tension– Miranda was embarrassed by Samantha’s lack of modesty in a foreign country– but their differences weren’t reasons to not engage in the friendship. Why do we dismiss potential friends so easily just because they make different choices than we do or respond in ways we don’t understand? This foursome has their varied personalities, but they are expanded by each other, not limited.
5. You don’t have to choose favorites or feel pressure to have all friendships look the same. What I think is super realistic, and healthy, is that while they have a group friendship, they also have one-on-one friendships. Samantha & Carrie go shopping for a movie premiere together. In Abu Dhabi, it’s Miranda and Carrie who go sightseeing in the market. Later, Miranda & Charlotte talk about life as mothers at the bar after their massages. We bond in different moments and in different ways with different women. And that’s okay. Research shows that most of us need over 5 friends to feel “full.” Our friends don’t need to compete, they don’t all have to feed us in the same way and we can allow moments to happen with some and not others. The moms can share in ways the others can’t. But neither do they only hang out with other moms. There is beauty in reminding us that friends energize in various ways.
Just in case you couldn’t tell- I could keep my list going! 🙂 Truly there was a lot of authenticity modeled in their friendship: loyalty, commitment and consistency, to name a few more. There were beautiful moments of honesty, pain, awkwardness, joy, hope and fear. They each showed insecurities. They all made tough decisions. They hurt each other and forgave one another. They carved out time for friendship and protected girls night out. They showcased defensive mechanisms and risked revealing their souls. They dealt with menopause, mothering, aging, fear of boredom in marriage, exhaustion, overbearing jobs, moments of cheating, career disappointments with bad book reviews…. Nothing “fairy-tale” or “fluff” about those themes!
Call the movie fantasy if you need to, but even if a story isn’t real doesn’t mean we can’t find truth.
SHASTA NELSON: Shasta founded GirlFriendCircles.com as a way to help introduce amazing women to potential girlfriends. Passionate about women, our relationships and our value to community, she’s inviting women to find those friends online, but make sure to take them offline to a cup of coffee too!
Check out Girlfriend Circles!
Shasta was one of our BlogTalkRadio show guests – listen to how she and her company are bringing friends together!) Girlfriend Circles is part of the Friendship Circle too! And, check out these other Girlfriendology blog posts:
- Our other review of Sex and the City 2 – by Ashley Bunk of 365 Inspirations
- Be a better friend – like Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda
- Be a better friend – Staying in touch with long distance friends
p.s. And … be a friend to Girlfriendology! Share this blog with your girlfriends by clicking the Facebook LIKE button below and also, when you’re on our Facebook page, SHARE IT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS. (Please?!) Thanks girlfriend!
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