A True Friend is Worth … | Girlfriends vs. Feeling ‘Unfriendable’

A True Friend is Worth … | Girlfriends vs. Feeling ‘Unfriendable’

There’s some talk lately on women feeling ‘unfriendable.’

one loyal friend quoteSeems a lot of women don’t feel like they have many friends, or have no new friends from the last decade or so. Busy schedules, jobs and families, too much to do and too little time … all contribute to a friend-less or friend-poor life. Lack of trust or self-confidence, insecurities and scars of failed friendship, cause us to shy away from new friends. We have our ‘Facebook Friends’ but they’re not there IRL (in real life) sometimes. We have social connections, but will they pick up our prescription when we’re sick or offer a shoulder when life brings tears? Will these online friends know that we’re going through hard times just by our tweets or that we’re struggling with finances or relationships just by a “frowny face”? 🙁

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives. – Euripides

Research shows that female friendship makes us healthier, happier, less stressed, live longer and feel more beautiful. REALLY! It’s the opposite of being ‘unfriendable,’ it’s the choice of being there for your friends, of being open to friends, to actively being ‘friendly,’ to recognizing the amazing blessing of friends in our lives.

Friendship – It is a CHOICE. I know it’s tough. I know your schedule is a mess and a stress. I know you have way too much stuff on your plate and way too little time to be the parent, partner, employee, etc. that you’d really like to be.

Girlfriends – It’s a CHOICE. It’s taking, making time to phone a friend. It’s putting time with your girlfriends on your calendar – be it a girlfriend book club or starting a girlfriend tradition, giving more thoughtful girlfriend gifts (that show that you care, that you would take time and be thoughtful for them). It’s deciding that you want to be a better friend.

Just think about this … relationships sometimes come and go more than we desire or plan. Jobs do the same. Kids grow up. Families always change. Soccer season ends. People move away. Differences happen.

If you’re lucky … if you’re really, REALLY lucky … you’ll have FRIENDS by your side through all the other changes in life.

Want a FRIEND? Be a Friend! Choose not to be ‘unfriendable.’ Make the effort. Spend the time. Show an interest. Find a new friend. I know … You’ll be so glad you did.

Still feel ‘unfriendable?’ I hope not. But we’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments below. We want to be your friend!

This week on Girlfriendology:

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  • Girlfriend Trip Beach Recommendations
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5 Mistakes to Avoid to have Great Friendships

5 Mistakes to Avoid to have Great Friendships

silence of our friendsI want to be the friend who’s there for my girlfriends, don’t you? If so, you probably don’t want to be silent when they need someone to speak up, or not there when we should be the friend who is there for them.

In the end, we will remember, not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther-King

I want to be the friend (and you must too if you’re here on Girlfriendology) who doesn’t make these friendship mistakes (but I have, so I’m trying to improve and be a better friend):

1. Not giving her the benefit of the doubt – Let’s start with the BIG friendship mistake. Did she say something bitchy or behind your back? Was she not there when you needed her to be? Did you hear something she said/did that hurt your feelings? STOP RIGHT THERE. She’s been your friend for a long time and through a lot of stuff, right?! Maybe she had a bad day, was misquoted or misunderstood the situation. If she’s been there for you for years, and through ‘stuff,’ give her the benefit of the doubt. Trust that she is there for you. Don’t come to conclusions looking at the negative. Girlfriends are there for each other. Be there for her – no matter what your first impression is.

2. Taking sides. Let’s be serious about friendships. If they’re good girlfriends, they’re worth getting away from the silliness of taking sides. Just be there for each other. Don’t team up with each other. Conspire on the behalf of your true friends. Stay on her side when she needs you.

3. Too busy to spend time together. Time. The most valuable gift we can give our girlfriends. “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time,” said James Taylor. Pass time together – spend time together – be there for your friends. Make take for your girlfriends. Don’t make this mistake!

4. Choosing to be with ‘the guy.’ Sure, being in a romantic relationship can lead to some ‘friendship challenges.’ We want to be there for them and there for our friends. A true friend values the friend who doesn’t change, no matter whom she dates. A real partner will understand and value that you have your own life and your own friends.

5. Playing games. Let’s be the realistic girlfriend. Women can be catty, mean, unfair, unkind. Girlfriends can do all the above – choose who they’re dating over their friends, be ‘too busy,’ take sides or not give her the benefit of the doubt. We can play bogus games or take each other for granted. Let’s stop the games. Let’s be there for each other.

Do you make these friendship mistakes? Do you wish you had better friendships? Well, it’s not that hard – just be a better friend and avoid these friendship mistakes. Life’s too short to not be a better friend. We girlfriends need to be here for each other. We need to be the friends we’d love to have. We need to NOT make these friendship mistakes.

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Here’re some ways to be a better friend:

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How to Help a Girlfriend go After Her Dreams

How to Help a Girlfriend go After Her Dreams

How to Help a Girlfriend go After Her DreamsHow to Help a Girlfriend go After Her Dreams

It echoes in your head, “Reach for that stars, and follow your dreams!” Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have someone standing in the wings of your life’s stage cheering you on and turning that elusive “wind beneath your wings” song into a reality? If your own desires in life aren’t taking off, live vicariously through the dreams of your friend. If you’ve already arrived to see all of your big ambitions fulfilled, hitch a cloud and help a girlfriend go after her dreams.

You see it in her. There is a true passion that begs to burst out, but something is not allowing her to go after her big dreams. Maybe her passion is to launch her own business, she knows how to tell a great story and wants to publish her own book, or maybe she has incredible photography skills. Whatever her goals are, they will be easier met with the help of a good friend. Grab a hold of these helpful secrets that successful women already know to help her attain her dreams.

Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. And believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you. Misty Copeland

Get a pretty journal, and start jotting down ideas. Write down your desires and then create an outline or flow chart to be your road map to success.

Take practical steps to get it done. If her dream is to dance and sing on Broadway, but she’s never been on stage or taken a dance class, it’s time to start from the beginning. Get experience and build a resume’ to fulfill her dreams. Identify the tools around you that you already have at your fingertips and put them to good use.

Do what you love. The first step is realizing what her dream is. If she already knows, you are on the path to fulfilling her dreams. If she doesn’t have a dream, now is the time to help her set goals to end in success. You are her friend who knows her best. Be a mirror for her to reflect back the talents you see in her. Acknowledge the truth of her ambitions and bring them to fruition.

Find the courage to take a risk. Like the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz, she probably already has all of the courage she needs to go for her dreams, but she may not have the confidence to realize the courage she possesses. It’s your job as her friend to bring this out in her. Encourage her. Literally, instill courage in her by pushing her beyond any fear or doubt.

Don’t let fear and doubt take hold. The next biggest obstacle to overcome is to strike down fear and doubt before they take hold and shatter all potential dreams.

There will always be skeptics, but that doesn’t mean they have to direct your path. Silence the skeptics. Never take what a naysayer says to heart.

Step out and do it. Literally take the first step toward her dreams. This doesn’t mean abandoning her to set her free. Sometimes, she may need you to take the first step with her. If this involves raising funds, set up a crowdfunding campaign for your friend. She may just need a cheerleader to encourage and support her – be THAT friend!

Help her pursue her dreams and have no regrets.

Don’t worry about the future. Live in the moment, not looking back and not worrying about what the future holds. Instead, focus on what you need to reach your goals.

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For more on Your Dreams & Her Dreams:

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^Girlfriend Gift Finder for:

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  • Holiday Gifts - Christmas Gifts, Mother's Day Gifts, Valentine's Day Gifts
  • Cheer up Gifts, Sympathy Gifts, Just Because Gifts, Congrats, Housewarming, Hostess Gifts & More!

<------- What's NEW in the Free Resource Library?

  • 150 Friendship Quotes
  • 3 FREE eBooks - including Resumes & Cover Letters
  • 2 Inspirational Quote Coloring Book Pages
  • JUST ADDED: Tips to make Grocery Shopping Easier
  • Girlfriend Trip Beach Recommendations
  • Money-saving Tips & Sites
  • & more!! 
10 Great Ways to Cheer Up a Friend

10 Great Ways to Cheer Up a Friend

10 ways to cheer up a friend10 Great Ways to Cheer Up a Girlfriend

Everyone gets down from time to time. Every friend needs cheering up at times. Sometimes pulling out of that funk is hard. If you have a girlfriend who’s going through some tough times, there are a number of things you can do to cheer her up. Whether it’s showing up with her favorite ice cream and time for a long chat or kidnapping her for a day of fun, try these 10 ways to cheer up a friend:

1. Ice Cream and a Chat – Ice cream is always a girl’s best friend when she’s going through a rough patch. Show up out of the blue with her favorite ice cream and spend the evening chatting. Sometimes all she needs is to talk it out with someone who’s willing to listen.

2. Spa Day – It doesn’t have to be an expensive outing. Just going to get her nails done or even her hair can be a great way to cheer up a girlfriend. This is especially true if she’s gone through a bad breakup and needs to feel beautiful again.

3. Shopping – What girl doesn’t love shopping? A day spent visiting her favorite shops can be such a great release. The key is to just get her out of the house so that she gets her mind off whatever is bothering her.

4. Kickboxing Class – Sometimes to work through the pain, you need to channel that inner anger. Whether she’s upset about something at work or had a fight with her boyfriend, helping her channel that inner anger and working through it at a kickboxing class can be so refreshing.

5. Dancing – Another great way to work through the pain is to simply get lost in the music and the movement of dancing. Take your girlfriend to a great club and let her lose herself on the dance floor.

6. Girls’ Night Out – Getting together with a bunch of friends can also be a great way to forget about everything that’s going on. Whether it’s drinks or dinner at her favorite spot – a night with the girls might be just what she needs.

7. Girls’ Night In – If she’s not in the mood to go out, bring the party to her. It might be curling up with her favorite movies and snacks or just hanging out with the girls at home. Sometimes a girl just needs her friends to work through the difficult times.

8. Give a Thoughtful Gift – If you want to do a small gesture that will make her smile, buy something she likes or collects. It might be coffee mugs, magnets, or key chains – whatever it is, taking the time to pick out something she loves will mean so much to her.

Start your free trial now!9. Childhood Memories – If you’ve known your girlfriend through childhood, look back at those memories and recreate one. It might be going to her favorite amusement park or her favorite ice cream shop. Whatever it is, just make sure it’s something special.

10. Playing Hooky – Last, but not least, if she’s having a rough time at work, and is a workaholic, kidnap her one morning before she heads to work. Have her call in sick and do something fun. Make sure it’s in another town though so that her coworkers don’t run into her.

If your friend is going through a hard time, take the time to do something special for her. Whether it’s a night of dancing or recreating a childhood memory, you can help her forget about her problems, at least for a little while. The inspiring quote above is right – every day may not be good, but there is good in every day!

For more inspiration on cheering up a friend:

Gifts to Cheer Up a Friend:

Show your love, encouragement and support with these cheer up gifts for friends!Cheer up book girlfriend gift

Cheer Up Book – “A fun compendium of happy quotes that will help lift anyone out of the dumps”

Hang in There Cheer UP Gift Basket –Healthy and unique gift basket is full of nuts and seeds to help boost spirits naturally – Who knew? Or this Cheer Up Healthy Gift Basket – and in case of emergency, send her this AWESOME CHOCOLATE Gift Basket 🙂

FUN Cheer Up Wine Label Set – sure to bring a smile to her face!

Chicken Soup for the Girlfriend’s Soul: Celebrating the Friends Who Cheer Us Up, Cheer Us On and Make Our Lives Complete

Keep Hangin’ In There Care Package – Filled with indulgent treats, two plush monkey friends, and a puzzle book for pleasant distraction, this gift box is sure to make your friend grin as she squishes the smile right off the happy stress ball’s face:)

And, eCards full of encouragement and support! Like these 


Cheer up cards encouragement support eCards

A Free Resource Library of Great Girlfriend Advice?!

  • Celebration Ideas & checklists
  • Friendly Financial Advice
  • Tempting Travel tips
  • FREE eBooks
  • Coloring book pages
  • Quotes to share with Friends 
Female Friend
Girlfriendology Girlfriend Gift Finder

^Girlfriend Gift Finder for:

  • Birthday Gifts for Women
  • Holiday Gifts - Christmas Gifts, Mother's Day Gifts, Valentine's Day Gifts
  • Cheer up Gifts, Sympathy Gifts, Just Because Gifts, Congrats, Housewarming, Hostess Gifts & More!

<------- What's NEW in the Free Resource Library?

  • 150 Friendship Quotes
  • 3 FREE eBooks - including Resumes & Cover Letters
  • 2 Inspirational Quote Coloring Book Pages
  • JUST ADDED: Tips to make Grocery Shopping Easier
  • Girlfriend Trip Beach Recommendations
  • Money-saving Tips & Sites
  • & more!! 
Breast Cancer Inspired Quotes – Love, Hope & Friendship

Breast Cancer Inspired Quotes – Love, Hope & Friendship

Love, Miracles, Breast Cancer, FriendshipI started Girlfriendology over eight years ago because of Dana and Allison. Two of my dear girlfriends were dealing with cancer and I just felt lost and hopeless. I wanted to be a better friend to them and to inspire women to be there for each other. I wanted to make the world better – one friendship at a time.

Years and thousands of blog posts later, I’m still blogging and unfortunately I still have girlfriends dealing with the evil disease of cancer.

Right now I’d like to send out love, prayers and surrounding hugs of support to my friend Tami is fighting stage-four cancer.

Tami is an AMAZING woman who took on cancer with a vengeance that only a woman with power could do.

Tami is the author of two books: FROM INCURABLE TO INCREDIBLE: Cancer Survivors Who Beat the Odds and MIRACLE SURVIVORS: Beating the Odds of Incurable Cancer. Both share inspiration for others battling cancer with stories of strength and perseverance. Please consider these books at girlfriend gifts for women with cancer.

Breast Cancer Inspired Quotes – Love, Hope & Friendship

It is in honor of her that I share these quotes for girlfriends with cancer, and the friends and family who love them … Be STRONG Girlfriend. You never know who you’re inspiring.
Be strong girlfriend breast cancer quote

One of my favorite quotes for all girlfriends (because we all got our ‘stuff’, right?) … “Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be WONDERFUL.” Annette Funicello
life doesnt have to be perfect

A reminder that ‘Cancer is a word, not a sentence.’ As my friend Dana used to say – she didn’t want breast cancer to define who she was, only SHE got to define who she really was …

Girlfriendology cancer quote, friendship quotes

The ultimate measure of a woman is not where she stands in moments of comfort & convenience, but where she stands at a time challenge & controversy. (our version!)  Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Cancer Quotes, MLK quote

For a friend who needs cheering up: “Finish each day & be done with it … Tomorrow is a New Day” (and check out these 25 text messages to cheer up a friend!)25 (more) Text Messages to Cheer up a Friend, Tomorrow is a New Day

 

Always remember that you are braver than you think, stronger than you seem, and loved more than you know.” inspired by Winnie-the-Poohpink girlfriend gifts, breast cancer gifts, gifts for girlfriends

 

and this quote by Tami … “The Beatles say ‘All you need is Love.’ But those of us with cancer may need a little more.”

helping friends with cancer tami boehmer

and check out Ten Tips for Helping a Friend with Breast Cancer.

More inspiring quotes for women:

That’s why we’re here – to inspire you to BE A BETTER FRIEND – even, and especially, when life hands you or a girlfriend tough situations.

COMFORTING GIFTS FOR FRIENDS: HEALING BASKETS provides gifts to comfort and support the broken hearted. From sympathy, and loss to cancer, get well, divorce and caregiving. These gifts encourage, comfort and inspire.

What other tough situations would you like us to cover on Girlfriendology? PLEASE SHARE below!

A Free Resource Library of Great Girlfriend Advice?!

  • Celebration Ideas & checklists
  • Friendly Financial Advice
  • Tempting Travel tips
  • FREE eBooks
  • Coloring book pages
  • Quotes to share with Friends 
Female Friend
Girlfriendology Girlfriend Gift Finder

^Girlfriend Gift Finder for:

  • Birthday Gifts for Women
  • Holiday Gifts - Christmas Gifts, Mother's Day Gifts, Valentine's Day Gifts
  • Cheer up Gifts, Sympathy Gifts, Just Because Gifts, Congrats, Housewarming, Hostess Gifts & More!

<------- What's NEW in the Free Resource Library?

  • 150 Friendship Quotes
  • 3 FREE eBooks - including Resumes & Cover Letters
  • 2 Inspirational Quote Coloring Book Pages
  • JUST ADDED: Tips to make Grocery Shopping Easier
  • Girlfriend Trip Beach Recommendations
  • Money-saving Tips & Sites
  • & more!! 
Top 100 Chick Flicks – by Girlfriendology Girlfriends!

Top 100 Chick Flicks – by Girlfriendology Girlfriends!

Top 100 chick flicksWant to know the best Chick Flicks? Ask your Girlfriends!

Most of us women LOVE Chick Flicks.

We love to watch them, have them on in the background when we’re cleaning the house or fixing meals. We love to give and receive them as DVDs. We just LOVE a good romantic comedy, light and silly. We might happen to love an actress (Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, Diane Lane, for example) or actor (lots of Hugh Grant, Colin Firth and Keanu Reeves fans!) that influences our theater preferences.

As much as we love chick flicks, we love to share them with our girlfriends like this list of the top 100 chick flicks that you, our Girlfriendology girlfriends (THANKS!), recommend:

[Tweet “Top 100 Chick Flicks – Favorite Movies for Women!”] More Movie posts on Girlfriendology:

Here’s MORE Chick Flicks – all from recommendations from our community of women – thanks!

What Chick Flicks would you recommend to a girlfriend? Share!

More Movie posts on Girlfriendology:

What are your favorite Chick Flicks? Which movies for women should we add to this list of ‘Best Chick Flicks’?

[Tweet “Top 100 Chick Flicks – Favorite Movies for Women!”]

 

A Free Resource Library of Great Girlfriend Advice?!

  • Celebration Ideas & checklists
  • Friendly Financial Advice
  • Tempting Travel tips
  • FREE eBooks
  • Coloring book pages
  • Quotes to share with Friends 
Female Friend
Girlfriendology Girlfriend Gift Finder

^Girlfriend Gift Finder for:

  • Birthday Gifts for Women
  • Holiday Gifts - Christmas Gifts, Mother's Day Gifts, Valentine's Day Gifts
  • Cheer up Gifts, Sympathy Gifts, Just Because Gifts, Congrats, Housewarming, Hostess Gifts & More!

<------- What's NEW in the Free Resource Library?

  • 150 Friendship Quotes
  • 3 FREE eBooks - including Resumes & Cover Letters
  • 2 Inspirational Quote Coloring Book Pages
  • JUST ADDED: Tips to make Grocery Shopping Easier
  • Girlfriend Trip Beach Recommendations
  • Money-saving Tips & Sites
  • & more!!