Do you have a friend who always makes you feel special?
Meet my friend Terri. She is one of the most thoughtful, caring girlfriends that I know. Her birthday gifts for me are always my favorite because she knows what I like and makes an effort in finding the perfect gift for me. She invites us over for dinner and creates a wonderful meal yet makes it very relaxed so we have time to talk and catch up. (Like a fabulous meal we shared last night.) Terri makes me feel like my friendship is special to her – and, as her girlfriend, that’s a wonderful feeling.
What’s funny is that I know that Terri
makes all her friends feel special. She goes the extra mile in her thoughtfulness for all her friends – and we’re all honored to be her friend! She inspires me! (And inspired me to write this blog post on how to make your BFF feel special.)
Going the extra mile for our girlfriends is a wonderful way of building into our friendships and being a better friend. So, let’s explore a few ways to be like Terri and be the kind of friend we’d love to have. Let’s highlight 5 ways to make your girlfriends feel as special as their friendship is to you:
- 1. Pay Attention – Notice what our friends like/don’t like, their personal style, what things they don’t have or need, their favorite things (like favorite singer/actor, store, designer or colors). Note little hints your friend may drop or items she is drawn to when you shop together. Pay attention to what makes her happy. Then use these clues as a guide for selecting girlfriend gifts or planning time together. For example, My friend Cath only wears gold jewelry. So, I make sure to never give her silver bracelets of earrings. Terri often gives me birthday gifts from my favorite gift shop – which connects me with where I used to live (and I love that). Pay attention to little details.
- 2. Make time for Her – Often with our friends, we’d really rather have memories of times together than having more ‘stuff.’ Spending time together says that we value our friendship enough to shared our most limited resource – the hours in our day. Clear your schedule and focus just on spending time together. Ignore your cell phone. Don’t call into work. Just spend time together – and time enough to get past all the conversations catching up on life and getting to those discussions where we share what’s really going on in our lives and our hopes and dreams. Make memories together – whether it’s going on a girlfriend getaway, a spa day together or just a lazy day sitting on her deck sharing a bottle of wine and talking.
- 3. Surprise Her – We love surprises – good surprises! Send a hand-written card with a heartfelt message. Give her a gift for no reason – other than you appreciate her and her friendship. Leave a flower bouquet outside her door or at her office. Get a babysitter for her and plan a dinner or adventure together. Leave nice notes on or in her desk or kitchen/bathroom cabinets. Round up your mutual friends for a surprise dinner together. My friend Jill arrived at her girlfriend’s house to find signs (made by her friend’s kids) saying: “Happy Jill-Day!” They made her favorite food, gave her little gifts and made it all about Jill and it wasn’t her birthday. Just a surprise celebration of their friendship. What a great surprise and great girlfriends!
- 4. Anticipate Her Needs – Is your BFF running her first marathon? Well, that’s a great time to give her a running-themed gift – like a basket of socks, water bottle and running clothes. Is she getting married, having a baby or getting a new job? What girlfriend gifts might make those life transitions easier? Or, what can you do to help her prepare for those changes in her life? If she’s going on vacation, surprise her with some great in-flight/beach reading books/magazine. Does she need some pampering? Plan a spa day or send a long-distance girlfriend some bubble bath and girlie girl gifts. Think about things that she might not buy or do for herself but that would make her feel special – that’s the goal!
- 5. Allow Her to be Herself – So often we’re busy taking care of others and being who people need us to be. Accept that she may not share your passion for ping-pong or your hobby of knitting – but you can still spend time together and share other interests. Listen, even if it isn’t something you’re super interested in – often we just need to talk with our true, trusted friends and have them listen to us. If your sense of style is radically different, accept that. Don’t give her gifts that you would love, if you know they are things that she wouldn’t want or wear. Accept your differences and acknowledge that you may see things differently and just focus on how special her friendship is to you.
Do you have a friend who always makes you feel special?
How does she do that?
How do you make your friends feel special?
What girlfriend gifts have you selected just for your BFF?
How can we be a better friend to our girlfriends?
And, THANKS TERRI for being such a thoughtful, inspiring girlfriend! You ARE SPECIAL. And, You make me want to be a better friend! (-:
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