I want to be the friend who’s there for my girlfriends, don’t you? If so, you probably don’t want to be silent when they need someone to speak up, or not there when we should be the friend who is there for them.
“In the end, we will remember, not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther-King
I want to be the friend (and you must too if you’re here on Girlfriendology) who doesn’t make these friendship mistakes (but I have, so I’m trying to improve and be a better friend):
1. Not giving her the benefit of the doubt – Let’s start with the BIG friendship mistake. Did she say something bitchy or behind your back? Was she not there when you needed her to be? Did you hear something she said/did that hurt your feelings? STOP RIGHT THERE. She’s been your friend for a long time and through a lot of stuff, right?! Maybe she had a bad day, was misquoted or misunderstood the situation. If she’s been there for you for years, and through ‘stuff,’ give her the benefit of the doubt. Trust that she is there for you. Don’t come to conclusions looking at the negative. Girlfriends are there for each other. Be there for her – no matter what your first impression is.
2. Taking sides. Let’s be serious about friendships. If they’re good girlfriends, they’re worth getting away from the silliness of taking sides. Just be there for each other. Don’t team up with each other. Conspire on the behalf of your true friends. Stay on her side when she needs you.
3. Too busy to spend time together. Time. The most valuable gift we can give our girlfriends. “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time,” said James Taylor. Pass time together – spend time together – be there for your friends. Make take for your girlfriends. Don’t make this mistake!
4. Choosing to be with ‘the guy.’ Sure, being in a romantic relationship can lead to some ‘friendship challenges.’ We want to be there for them and there for our friends. A true friend values the friend who doesn’t change, no matter whom she dates. A real partner will understand and value that you have your own life and your own friends.
5. Playing games. Let’s be the realistic girlfriend. Women can be catty, mean, unfair, unkind. Girlfriends can do all the above – choose who they’re dating over their friends, be ‘too busy,’ take sides or not give her the benefit of the doubt. We can play bogus games or take each other for granted. Let’s stop the games. Let’s be there for each other.
Do you make these friendship mistakes? Do you wish you had better friendships? Well, it’s not that hard – just be a better friend and avoid these friendship mistakes. Life’s too short to not be a better friend. We girlfriends need to be here for each other. We need to be the friends we’d love to have. We need to NOT make these friendship mistakes.
Here’re some ways to be a better friend:
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